Bringing up the leader


Consider the following guidelines for effective leadership.

Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

Never say, “You are wrong.” However, if you are wrong, admit it quickly.

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing.

If the other person has made a mistake, indirectly point to it, and allow him to save face. Make the fault seem easy to correct. Make him/her happy to take your advice to make corrections.

If there is a new idea, gently plant it in the listener and let him/ her even claim it as his/ her own.

Try honestly to see from the other person’s point of view.

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Forgive the mistakes and never bring them up once they have corrected the mistakes. Never brand them for those mistakes.

When making corrections, let the purpose always be noble, such as company objectives or the the other person’s achievements.

Smile as often as you can. Always respect the other person.

Do you agree that these are good guidelines? Well, they are not my own.
” How to win friends and influence people” is the title of the world-famous self-help book that sold millions since it was published in the 1930s. These ideas and suggestions are the basis for the book.

Now I will throw down a challenge. Can you find any leader or manager from your personal experience who follows the above guidelines?

Guess what! I have had many managers in my career, and none of them qualifies as a paradigm of virtue according to the above guidelines. Worse, I have had a couple – I would call them Bob and Tosh – who used coercion, threats and abusive language to deal with people.


2 responses »

    • Thanks, Ameen. I will be posting on the SCARF model this weekend. It is of recent origin based on neuroscientific research. Surprisingly I find that it is only a rehash of Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Win Friends..’

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